


Bathroom Key

by LetterJumble



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Bathrooms, Caught, Cute, Fans, Implied Sexual Content, Small Towns, TATINOF, Tour Bus, Touring, United States, just a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 20:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6209269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LetterJumble/pseuds/LetterJumble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil are well into their great American leg of The Amazing Tour is Not on Fire! Except that they forgot traveling on a tour bus with other people means traveling on a tour bus with other people. All the time. </p><p>They also forgot that even the smallest of towns can hold fans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bathroom Key

**Author's Note:**

> You know how some stories come as just wisps of ideas and you have to pull them out and others come nearly fully formed? This was the latter. So please enjoy the story that practically wrote itself. 
> 
> Like usual, I don't own or know Dan or Phil or their relationship. 
> 
> I do hope they have fun on their upcoming tour :)

Driving around the United States in a tour bus had seemed like a good idea. Really, it had at the time. Except after awhile it became endless hours on a godforsaken bus. It never ended. And like, the US had way more corn fields than either of them expected and when they were in these random small towns in the middle of the country everyone stared at them the second they walked into a restaurant. They didn’t think they looked that different, but apparently, they did. 

So, driving around day after day had become mundane and repetitive and exhausting in its sameness. Plus, they were constantly surrounded by people. When they drove around the UK for the tour they drove with other people, but then they separated at night. But no, the bus would save money in the long run, we can sleep in the bus, it will be fine. We can get a hotel in some of the bigger cities, but in the small places we can just use the bus and like camp. Great idea that one was.

It had somehow ended up with four nights in a row in the stupid bus. Four nights where they couldn’t do anything. A night or two they could deal with, but four? This was a high stress event and they needed to calm down and they could barely even fit together on one of the stupid bus beds, so normally they ended up with a stiff neck or with a bruise from one of them accidently whacking the other or ramming into the doors and the wall and the everything of the tiny, little, inside of the bus that was right next to the bed. They’d hadn’t quite realized the importance of floor space until they were living in a bus. 

Plus, there were all other people. They didn’t particularly want to go the exhibitionist route with a crew they’d be seeing everyday for nearly three months. They had panicked enough with the whole sleeping on the same bed, nonetheless actually doing anything in said bed.

It was kind of nightmare. 

When they pulled into some station and the manager said take a half hour or an hour or whatever and get food Phil practically ran to the bathroom, dragging Dan behind him. 

Not that Dan was complaining or anything, he was desperate for some time with Phil, even if it was quick in some gross bathroom in some small speck on the map town. 

God, he missed his boyfriend. Every inch of him. 

After, Phil slid out of the bathroom first. 

He nearly crashed into a teenager girl. “Oh sorry, didn’t see you there.”

The girl stared up at him with huge eyes. 

Fuck.

“AmazingPhil.” She breathed out. She typed something into her phone so fast Phil wasn’t sure it happened. 

“Hello there! Would you like a picture? We can go somewhere away from the toilets, get a nicer background perhaps?” Phil was praying to every deity he could think of that she would agree. He needed to get her away and then Dan could sneak out and it would be fine.

“Yes!” the girl squealed. Then she wiggled a bit. “Actually, I’m sorry, I really need to use the bathroom, um,” She blushed, “I will be so fast, then we can take the photo yeah? If it ain’t no trouble? And with Dan maybe? Is he around here somewhere? It’s just fine if he isn’t.”

“Yup.” Phil didn’t know what to do. What was he supposed to do? Tell her she couldn’t use the toilet?

“Do you have the key?” The girl glanced at his empty hands.

“Huh?”

“The bathroom key? With the giant wooden fish attached? The manager is kind of nuts about it. My brother locked it in there once when he was like 10 and the guy flipped out! He was 10!”

“I don’t have it.”

“You locked it in there?” The girl looked at him pityingly. “It opens fine enough without it, but you have to be the one who tells him, my family has a reputation now.”

“No…umm. I’ll ummm…Here, we can go over and…and….get a snack. These crazy American snacks are crazy.”

“What? Are you okay?”

The bathroom door creaked open and Dan slid out. “Nice try there Phil.”

The girl squealed. “Ohmygod Danisnotonfireeee. Ohmygod.” Realization hit her face. “Oh MY GOD.”

“Shhhhh” Dan put his finger to his lips and looked around.

The girl grinned. “This is literally the best day of my life! Don’t worry; there ain’t no one around here. God, only three people in this town have heard of you and I’m one of them.” She grinned sheepishly. “I might have texted the other two, they’re on their way.”

Phil groaned. “Look, we really aren’t, if you could just, please not tell.”

The girl nodded very seriously. “Of course not. I love you guys, I wouldn’t be disrespectful like that.”

“Not even your two friends though, can you do that?” Dan added. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them, but things travelled and you tell just one friends and they tell just one friend and then everybody knows. 

The girl looked slightly pained, but nodded. “Yeah I can do that, they’d understand when you do come out that I kept a secret. Hell, I got stuff on them I wouldn’t never tell. You ever been caught like this before?”

Dan shrugged, “A few times at restaurants when we were out for a meal, but not quite so…implicating.”

Phil leaned over and whispered something in his ear. Dan blushed slightly and shoved him away. “Oh right, that. That might have been worse, but our fans are generally great, decent people, so if they do, they keep it to themselves if we ask.”

“Yeah, we’re alright.” The girl grinned. “This is pretty bad though. I’ve been in that bathroom. You don’t shove two people in there for fun..well I mean…”

“Hey, I could have just been helping Dan out.”

“I’m sure you were.”

Dan burst into the loud uninhibited laughter he had and the girl grinned. “I made you laugh.” She jumped. “This really is the best day every, you’re real and you’re cannon and I made you laugh!”

“Yup, but remember, we aren’t cannon. Phil was just helping me…clean my shirt after he threw a bowl of cereal at it.” 

The girl grinned. “Shame your giant tour bus doesn’t have running water and you had to squish into this tiny toilet with your fast drying shirt.”

Phil smirked. “Dan, we need to get dumber fans. How did we end up with the snarky, clever ones?”

Dan shrugged. “Beyond me.”

“Okay,” The girl grinned, “I seriously need the key, then we can take a photo, and my friends will be here soon.” The girl ran inside the bathroom.

Dan and Phil looked at each other. “We have got to stop outing ourselves to fans.” Dan said with a shake of his head. 

“Ooops.” Phil didn’t look all that concerned. 

“I mean it!”

“We get a hotel room tonight. So we should be in the clear for a bit.”

“Oh thank god.” That really had not been remotely enough. 

The girl reemerged and smiled. “Can we take a photo with the bus in the background?”

“Erm, we’d rather not, it’d make it a little too easy to stalk.”

“That’s alright, we can just move over a little.”

They shuffled away from the bathrooms.

“How do you know only three people in this town have heard of us?” Phil asked as the girl arranged them the way she wanted. 

“Oh, well me and my friend Van share everything. And then one day we saw Carly with your galaxy backpack. She’s a year behind us so we didn’t know her, not really. It’s nice and subtle too, which is good, cause you can’t advertise this kind of thing in this kind of town. I can’t wait to get out of here. Anyway, our high school has 122 people in it, so one day we dropped some memes and jokes ‘bout you two around, and no one reacted so we know we’re the only three. Plus, I work in the library after school and no one checks out your book. I had to beg them to get it too, well subtly beg. They just don’t understand. I keep an eye on it too, just in case some kid likes you and we can save them from this place.“

“That is very well thought out of you.”

The girl beamed up at them. “Thanks.” She pointed in the distance where two figures appeared. “That’s Van and Carly. Oh! I’m Sophia!” 

“Nice to meet you Sophia.”

Her friends made their way over, and they were red faced and panting slightly. 

“Sorry, we had to run nearly two miles, couldn’t miss you,” The boy, Van, said. 

Then they all started talking at once. 

“We love you two so much. We wanted to see the tour, but it didn’t work out,”

“Yeah it was a little far to go and we don’t have much money. Sorry ‘bout that.”

“We’re sharing a copy of your book though!”

“My mom got my the backpack as my Christmas present! That’s how Van and Sophia found me. Isn’t it great? I got a backpack and friends. It’s real sturdy too, the cheap ones rip easy.”

“The baking video’s those are my favorite.”

“Oh, I like a sleepless night with Phil, and Dan’s work stories, I knocked over a whole cart of books at the library once, and those made me feel better about that.”

“No, Undertale is better.”

They looked at each other and nodded. “We just really like you, and you’re like, happiness in a shit town.”

“Thanks so much!” Dan meant every word. “It means so much to us that we can make you guys happier. You’ll get through high school. Promise.”

Phil held out his arms. “We’re glad you’re such huge fans, don’t apologize about the tour, we’re happy with however you want to be involved. Do you want a hug?”

They launched themselves into their arms, and went down the line until everyone had hugged everyone.

“Okay, lets do some photos.”

They made sure to take their time, and get all the photos the trio wanted. Dan and Phil were the weird kids, so they felt a pang when they talked about being the outcasts in between photos.

“Dan, Phil, we have to get going.” Their manager called. “I grabbed you some food.”

“Alright, we got to head out…You three should go back to school.” Phil said to them.

“Hey maybe don’t post all the photos, people might get upset, we don’t always have time to take so many.” Dan added. 

“Yeah of course.” The fans said. 

Sophia laughed. “You can trust me.”

Dan and Phil nodded and smiled and waved goodbye. They went back to the bus, where they slid next to each other into a small bench for two. They pulled away and watched the teens get smaller in the distance. 

“They were sweet.” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck. He arms were wrapped solidly around Phil. 

“They really were.”

“We have to stop doing that. I mean, it’s just embarrassing at this point. We’re in our twenties!”

“We do.” Phil turned around and kissed Dan. “Think this story will go up?”

“Hope not. But they never do, do they?”

“No I guess they don’t”

“One day, maybe.”

“Not yet.”

“No, not yet. When the time’s right.” They curled around each other in the seat. Dan jammed headphones in his ears and Phil took out his list of Things That Happened in America to add to. 

They drove on.

The story didn’t go up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank You so so much for reading this. I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
